I’M RICH I TELL YOU, I’M RICH!!!

After logging into my email this morning, I noticed that I had some mail in my spam folder. Ever forgetful to check my spam mail, I dutifully opened the folder for a quick sort before deleting.
Imagine my surprise when I came across this very important mail: 

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Canadian National Lottery (Lotto 649)
Address: Consumer Affairs, 70 Foster Drive,Suite 800,
Sault Ste. Marie, Ontario P6A 6V2, CANADA.



CONGRATULATIONS !!!



Dear Internet User,

We happily announce to you the result of the National Lotto 6/49 lottery draws held on Wed, July 13, 2011 in Ontario, Canada and Nottingham, United Kingdom, for Internet Users. Your e-mail address attached to ticket number: B95647560-4545 100 with serial number 046560 drew the winning numbers 2,8,28,29,34,44-Bonus 38. All participants were selected randomly from World Wide Web site through computer draws system and extracted from over 10,000,00 companies and personal e-mail addresses.

Your lucky winning numbers falls within our West Africa booklet representative office in Abidjan, Cote Divorie. You have therefore been approved to claim a total sum $820,000.00 from our accredited commercial bank. Contact Our Lottery/Claims agent immediately for your Prize.

CONTACT YOUR CLAIMS AGENT AT:

Name: Mr. Eric Johnson
Email: lotolore@mail.mn
Tel: +44-7045780381

WINNER'S PERSONAL DATA:

 FULL NAME=============
 GENDER: =============
 DATE OF BIRTH:=========
 NATIONALITY.: =====================
 CITY.:=============================
 DIRECT TELEPHONE NUMBER.:====================
 OCCUPATION.: ======================
 


Congratulations once more from all members and staff for been part of our promotional lottery programm.:



Yours Sincerely,
Mrs.Johnson Rosemary
Customer Service: 680 N-CA 85914.:

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WOO HOO!!!

I responded straight forth, supplying needed personal information to secure my winnings of $820,000.00

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Dear Mrs. Johnson Rosemary,:

May I call you Johnson?: Thank you, Johnson, assuming all is well with you, I continue immediately with the personal information you require for me to secure my winnings of $820,000.00.:   First, may I inquire to know if $820,000.00 is amount before or after currency rate exchange, as I learn when looking into the exchange rates that there is a great difference between Canadian dollar, UK pounds and African rand.: (interesting punctuation used in your culture,: BTW)

My personal data follows.:

FULL NAME.: – Darlene~BloggityBlogger~
GENDER.: female
DATE OF BIRTH.: Yes, I have one, however US custom dictates that a lady never tell her true age. A clever person could deduct my age from my DOB, soooo…
NATIONALITY.: US citizen
CITY.: Clowntown, 90210
DIRECT TELEPHONE NUMBER.: Yes, however, I prefer my proof communication by email, as per your choice to notify me of my winnings
OCCUPATION.: Retired – perhaps you are aware that Retired Americans are rolling in money, but, yanno, a little more never hurts

As I understand these matters, you will require my bank account number for the transaction and possibly a processing fee in advance? Is not that information included with my e-mail address attached to ticket number: B95647560-4545 100 with serial number 046560? I assume the $820,000 would be more than enough to cover my processing fee? Please deduct such fee from my winnings.

Should you be unable to process your fees from my winnings, I require YOUR bank account number AND YOUR personal information that I may use for electronic deposit, as I cannot share my personal bank account number with you.: I’m sure you understand that there are many dishonest *cough cough* people in the world who are anxious to separate money from the honest people, but particularly from the elderly.: Yes?:

I excitedly await your next move requirement with baited breath.:

Thank you for congratulations once more from all members and staff for been part of your promotional lottery programm.: (Does that translate correctly in your language.:)

Sincerely,

Mrs. ~BloggityBlogger~

Copy to.: Mr. Johnson Eric (respecting your cultural expressions and punctuation)

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I am excited to hear back from my new friends, Johnson and Eric…

I leave you now because I have just discovered that I am the winner of two more international lotteries that I must claim immediately AND I’m the only living heir of some dead dude in the UK. 

WOW!!! I’m a lucky gal!!!