Enduring Love

 

My Dearest Darling,

When you showed up at my door for our first date, little did I know that my future was standing there holding one perfect red rose. As you stood there looking sheepish, you said “Roses are Red, my Love”. My heart swelled and I was yours ~ right then and there.

Since that first date, you have made me happy beyond my greatest expectations. Though there were many happy days, one of the happiest days of my life was the day you said “come grow old with me”. I have always treasured your marriage proposal in the deepest part of my heart. Since that day, we did indeed grow old together.

As happy and giddy with love as I was the day we married, I thought I could not possibly love you more. But, I never dreamed the depths our love would reach. My heart was so swelled with love that I could not know then that it was only just infected.

As time went on, I discovered that first love is not really a sustaining love because as real life set in and trials came, that first love wasn’t enough…but our marriage commitment was enough. Our wedding vows were the glue that held us together while we adjusted to life as husband and wife. Yes, I know you know, so this will come as no surprise that I wanted to give up more than once just to go back to that uncomplicated life before marriage…as if that was possible. Well, we had our ups and downs throughout our life together, but it was just exactly those ups and downs that added strength to the glue of our commitment to each other. We grew strong and then we grew old together.

I remember the day we were at our doctor’s office and our doctor called us “the couple who love each other”. I wondered just exactly what the doctor saw to draw that conclusion. Possibly it was because we always made our appointments together in our later years so that two pairs of old ears could listen carefully to what the doctor had to say. Or maybe he detected the fear in my eyes upon hearing your diagnosis, the subsequent surgeries and follow-ups. Maybe it was because of the day that I sat in his office and sobbed for an hour with the agonies that run hand in hand ~ fear of loss and depression. Whatever our doctor saw in us that said “love” made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. I liked it.

While that first love was wonderful, my love for you now is like a gentle fire that has been banked for a long, cold night. It is always there, glowing warmly in the background while we lived our day to day lives. When I first loved you, I didn’t think I could possibly love you more, but time and life have proven me wrong. We had a wonderful life together in spite of the ups and downs. Thank you for the love, the caring and the sharing. It’s been good.

I just want you to know how much I love you and how much I have loved being your wife. No other role in my life made me feel so content. I love you dearly. I will always love you. Always…

Love Eternally,

Wifey

p.s. Did I ever tell you how much I loved being called “Wifey”?

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I watched Grandma lean over Grandpa as she brushed his snowy white hair away from his forehead to plant a kiss. I heard her whisper “I will always love you” as she gently lifted the lapel of Grandpa’s jacket to place her letter next to his heart.

I do not know exactly what Grandma wrote in that letter, but I do know that it must be a love letter for Grandpa so that it would be with him throughout eternity. They loved each other so much.

Supporting Grandma’s slight body, we slowly walked out of the chapel. All I can think is that I can only hope to have such a love someday. I really must ask Grandma how they achieve that kind of love… I hope to have a marriage just like my grandparents.

 

Darlene Cirinna

February 16, 2012