Sunday, April 10, 2011

The Moment I saw Him...

The moment I saw him, I knew that I would have to kill him…

When I first saw him, I was stricken in horror.  He was just plain creepy…  I heard of him, of course, but I did not think that he would have the audacity to come to MY home. No…not my home!!!   Yet…there he was ~ standing proudly ~ as if he had a right to be here. 

I am a peace loving person, but even so, I reached for my weapon.  Before I could take aim, he ran into my kitchen.  I stalked him throughout the house – every time I took aim, he eluded me.  Frustration did not improve my aim.  I took many shots at him ~ always missing.  Finally, after what seemed like hours,  I could not find him anywhere in my home.  I was confident that I had driven him back out into the night.  Surely he was smart enough to stay away from me?

By bedtime, I was basking in a comfortable place of false security.  He was no longer on my mind; therefore, I drifted into a pleasant sleep. 

It seemed I was no sooner asleep than I heard the click of footsteps on my ceramic tiled floor.  I froze – my weapon out of my reach.  Drat… in my ocean of false security, I had left my weapon on my kitchen counter.  My brain scrambled for a solution to destroy him without my weapon.  My bedroom was dimly lit by the streetlight outside my window.  It was just enough light for me to find a weapon ~ so intent I was on killing him.  My eyes darted around the room ~ searching ~ darting ~ searching…  Then I spotted my cigarette lighter on the nightstand…..YES!!!  I had a plan…

He slipped into my bathroom.  Given the opportunity, I was out of the bed in a flash, grabbing a can of hair spray off my dresser, I stalked him once again.  This time I knew I would kill him.  He thought I was sleeping…  Chuckling to myself, I knew I had the advantage.  I would kill him ~ then I would put him in a garbage can ~ like the sorry piece of poop that he is ~ and dispose of him once and for all.  After all, he has no business in my home.  It is my right to kill him….

I slipped up to the bathroom door and peered around the doorjamb…  There he was by the sink.  He didn’t even see me coming…  Heh…  Who had the false security now? 

Before he could turn around, I flicked my lighter, pointed the hair spray at him and pushed with all my might…  HA!!!  GOT HIM!!!!  It was almost too easy…

I danced around him as he writhed in pain.  I watched him carefully, just in case I should also have to bash him…  I wanted to avoid that, if I could, because I just couldn’t deal with a mess like that…  Weak stomach, you know?  Just to avoid the bashing, I decided to hit him again with the flaming hair spray.  With that, he ran out of the bathroom, through the bedroom, through the kitchen and I saw him wriggle his way through the sliding glass doors to the patio.

Relentless by now, I pursued him, continually blasting him as his strength waned.  I did not care.  I wanted him DEAD!!!

When he finally lost consciousness, I stuffed him in a garbage can and put him out for trash pickup in the morning.  Woo hoo!!!  Victory dance!!!! 

I was mid-step in my dance when I spotted his friend slip out of the shadows and run through the door that I had carelessly left open… 

Dang!!!!  I grabbed my weapon off the kitchen counter as I stalked him…  HE HAS TO DIE!!!

I always say....The only good bug is a dead bug!  

Written by Darlene Cirinna
Copyright 6/30/09
All rights reserved.
Images from Photobucket and/or Google images


  1. This is great....thought so the first time I read it ;D

  2. (((Sh Boola))) Thanks. I brushed it up a bit before reposting. ;-)

  3. LOL........this was good Darlene.......somewhere I saw it coming.

  4. darlene,
    thanks for your comment(s) on my blog.
    when i referred to getting in hot water, it jeopardises my employment so not real good..
    on the other hand, for the moment i'm doing ok

  5. Myk: Thank you for the encouragement. I haven't posted this story here before because it is among my early stories and, as fun as it is, I didn't feel like it was very good. I appreciate that you enjoyed it. LOL... I bet you saw it coming when I tried to kill someone with a lighter and hairspray. hahaha

  6. kylie: Well, I sure hope you don't lose your job over internet nonsense. I'm retired, but was a blogger before retirement. I was ever mindful of what I blogged about. LOL...some of my internet experiences would make an employer consider whether to keep me or not. hahaha... I have been a bad girl on the internet at times. I believe it has only been a couple of days since I saw some crap on the internet and decided to stir it. bwahahaha... Best wishes on your job. I sure hope it all blows over and forgotten soon.

  7. Love it! You have an amzing way of building suspense!

  8. Thank you, Sherri. I think I found my genre. ;-)

  9. Holy hell Darlene!! I thought you were killing an intruder or robber!! I was literally on the edge of my seat holding my breath, and then the victim was a bug!! Lord you sure had me going! Well done!


  10. made me laugh!! Great Story~

  11. Is this your Blogger page? I love it. <3

    1. Yes. I thought you knew. More than 100 blogs here now.