Thursday, August 4, 2011


After logging into my email this morning, I noticed that I had some mail in my spam folder. Ever forgetful to check my spam mail, I dutifully opened the folder for a quick sort before deleting.
Imagine my surprise when I came across this very important mail: 


Canadian National Lottery (Lotto 649)
Address: Consumer Affairs, 70 Foster Drive,Suite 800,
Sault Ste. Marie, Ontario P6A 6V2, CANADA.


Dear Internet User,

We happily announce to you the result of the National Lotto 6/49 lottery draws held on Wed, July 13, 2011 in Ontario, Canada and Nottingham, United Kingdom, for Internet Users. Your e-mail address attached to ticket number: B95647560-4545 100 with serial number 046560 drew the winning numbers 2,8,28,29,34,44-Bonus 38. All participants were selected randomly from World Wide Web site through computer draws system and extracted from over 10,000,00 companies and personal e-mail addresses.

Your lucky winning numbers falls within our West Africa booklet representative office in Abidjan, Cote Divorie. You have therefore been approved to claim a total sum $820,000.00 from our accredited commercial bank. Contact Our Lottery/Claims agent immediately for your Prize.


Name: Mr. Eric Johnson
Tel: +44-7045780381


 FULL NAME=============
 GENDER: =============
 DATE OF BIRTH:=========
 NATIONALITY.: =====================
 DIRECT TELEPHONE NUMBER.:====================
 OCCUPATION.: ======================

Congratulations once more from all members and staff for been part of our promotional lottery programm.:

Yours Sincerely,
Mrs.Johnson Rosemary
Customer Service: 680 N-CA 85914.:



I responded straight forth, supplying needed personal information to secure my winnings of $820,000.00


Dear Mrs. Johnson Rosemary,:

May I call you Johnson?: Thank you, Johnson, assuming all is well with you, I continue immediately with the personal information you require for me to secure my winnings of $820,000.00.:   First, may I inquire to know if $820,000.00 is amount before or after currency rate exchange, as I learn when looking into the exchange rates that there is a great difference between Canadian dollar, UK pounds and African rand.: (interesting punctuation used in your culture,: BTW)

My personal data follows.:

FULL NAME.: – Darlene~BloggityBlogger~
GENDER.: female
DATE OF BIRTH.: Yes, I have one, however US custom dictates that a lady never tell her true age. A clever person could deduct my age from my DOB, soooo…
CITY.: Clowntown, 90210
DIRECT TELEPHONE NUMBER.: Yes, however, I prefer my proof communication by email, as per your choice to notify me of my winnings
OCCUPATION.: Retired – perhaps you are aware that Retired Americans are rolling in money, but, yanno, a little more never hurts

As I understand these matters, you will require my bank account number for the transaction and possibly a processing fee in advance? Is not that information included with my e-mail address attached to ticket number: B95647560-4545 100 with serial number 046560? I assume the $820,000 would be more than enough to cover my processing fee? Please deduct such fee from my winnings.

Should you be unable to process your fees from my winnings, I require YOUR bank account number AND YOUR personal information that I may use for electronic deposit, as I cannot share my personal bank account number with you.: I’m sure you understand that there are many dishonest *cough cough* people in the world who are anxious to separate money from the honest people, but particularly from the elderly.: Yes?:

I excitedly await your next move requirement with baited breath.:

Thank you for congratulations once more from all members and staff for been part of your promotional lottery programm.: (Does that translate correctly in your language.:)


Mrs. ~BloggityBlogger~

Copy to.: Mr. Johnson Eric (respecting your cultural expressions and punctuation)


I am excited to hear back from my new friends, Johnson and Eric…

I leave you now because I have just discovered that I am the winner of two more international lotteries that I must claim immediately AND I’m the only living heir of some dead dude in the UK. 

WOW!!! I’m a lucky gal!!!


  1. I love how you handle this!! Ha! I get these in my email too. Do they really think people are stupid enough to give out all their personal information to some random person that proclaims that you have won a fortune? Lord help us all!! Great post!


  2. This did make me laugh, Darlene. I think we've most of us been there at some point!

  3. Hilarious! You are a lucky girl.: and I'm laughing out loud at this post.

  4. Wow! Hey, Darlene...remember... I'm your friend, and I'm poor too. If you really get $820,000,000, could you please send me $200 dollars you won't miss - I'm a little short this month...LOL...

    I saw a reposted tweet in German this morning from someone's 100 word tale that went:

    "And in Nigeria that morning Mrs Johnson of the national lottery board, looked confused and preplexed as she slowly closed her notebook. Stunned, she murmured in disbelief, 'I can't understand it. All this money, and not a single person wants to claim it...'"

  5. BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...OMG. I have never even considered answering one of those notifications, but you did a fantastic job of doing so!
    My side kinda hurts right now. You are a riot. C;

  6. Oh this is sooo funny!! ha ha ha!! Good for you--I'd love an update when you hear back! LMAO!

  7. I've always just deleted these mails, but now I know a MUCH better way to handle them! :OD

  8. OMG, Darlene. I so hope they write back to you. I have always wanted to call back one of those solicitors who's "not selling anything" and yet feels compelled to interrupt my dinner and keep him or her on the phone FOREVER talking about nothing useful. I'm vicariously living out that "fantasy" through your post. Really, really funny. Thanks for the laugh!

  9. Thank you all for your wonderful comments. I usually just laugh, mumble something about not being stupid while I delete. But, I have suppressed my urge to respond for a very long time @ the request of my hubby who told me I better never answer one of those emails. LOL... What he doesn't know... You know?

    @ Celeste: I'll have to check the exchange rate before I know if I can send you $200. The way our economy is looking, it might only benefit you by a few bucks anyway. LOL

  10. It never ceases to amaze me the types of emails these spammers generate in the hopes that someone is going to believe what they're offering! I think it's probably the sixth or seventh wave of a this email. They also target various businesses too! Unbelievable...well I take that back. It is believable...but sad that they think we are going to fall for it.

  11. Thanks for my Friday morning giggle :D

  12. You know you did tackle it in a funny manner, and everyone gets dozens of these emails every day, but the kind of threat they pose in countries like mine is very real. In fact, I personally know someone who ended up sharing his account number and lost quite a decent amount of dough. There are crackdowns in New Delhi which take place almost everyday. Someone needs to fix these scoundrels ASAP.
    That said, where would be without humour, so Thank You Darlene! :)

    best wishes
    Scribblers Inc.

  13. LOL! Seems you've hit the jack pot!

  14. Congratulations! I'm going to be rich too. Also, there is a Russian lady who wants to meet me. I wonder if my husband can come too.


  15. Congratulations! I'm going to be rich too. Also, there is a Russian lady who wants to meet me. I wonder if my husband can come too.