GHOST OF CHRISTMAS PAST ~ ECCLESIASTES 7B

GHOST OF CHRISTMAS PAST

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It was Christmas Eve ~ mid-‘70’s. My husband and I were separated and I was alone ~ very alone. My in-laws insisted I join the family for Christmas Eve festivities. With no small reservations, I drove to my sister-in-law’s house that evening. Although his family made every effort to make me feel welcome, my husband was less than pleased to see me. He was visually uncomfortable, distant and cold. Even so, when my husband learned I would be there, he made a last minute purchase at the drug store…a pretty little wooden musical jewelry box. I also had a gift for him. I do not remember what, but that pretty jewelry box still sits on my dresser ~ approximately 35 years later. It serves as a reminder that even in the worst of times, my husband loved me.

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But ~ that is not my only memory of that sad Christmas Eve. There’s more….

My husband had other plans for Christmas Eve, so he left early. Right here, I want to say that I do not want anybody to judge my husband for what happened in the past because I certainly was not the “injured” party back then and I am completely blessed with him now. As my Mom always said, “It takes 2 to tango.” I was no more innocent than him – I just happened to be the one alone at that point in time. My husband was as wounded as I was and I might mention that both of our “wounds” were self-inflicted.

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After my husband left the family party, I stayed only a short time longer. I don’t think I need to describe how I was feeling. I will just say ~ not good… Feeling lower than low, I did not want to go home to an empty house during this time that is most especially for families. I did not want to be alone ~ so I went to a bar. I was totally downcast; therefore, I really didn’t look around at the other patrons of the bar for a little while. I studied that scarred tabletop and wallowed in my pain until my drink arrived. All I wanted was some relief from the pain ~ my pain-reliever of choice back in the day was alcohol… After I took a few sips of my drink, I picked my sight up off of the scarred tabletop and took in my surroundings. The jukebox sat silent in the corner. As I looked around, I saw that no one was sitting with any another person and nobody was talking to anybody else. There were only about four or five other people in that bar – all older men who I knew had already drank themselves into ruin ~ men who had destroyed themselves, their jobs and their families with alcohol ~ every man having put distance between himself and the next man. Nor did it escape my attention that I was the only female in the place. Right then and there, I had an epiphany ~ I knew in an instant that I was seeing my future if I did not change my ways. I got up out of my chair at that very moment and walked out of that bar. It would be a couple more years before I really got myself together, but the peek into a bleak future was ever on the fringes of my mind… And it was unsettling to me ~ at a minimum. The revelation worked on my mind until Godly sorrow settled in ~ eventually ~ when I finally took my eyes off of the world and put them on God.

Sorrow is better than laughter,
for by a sad countenance
the heart is
made better.
Ecclesiastes 7:3

When I read Ecclesiastes 7:2-6, I think of churches and bars. I’m pretty sure that most people who read this passage do not think about bars. The Lord speaks to us as is needed…and He will use our experiences to make His point. He will use our experiences to teach us and He will use our experiences to remind us. If we are willing ~ we listen ~ and we do not point our fingers at others who HEARD differently from our Lord ~ because God’s Word is between Him and you ~ for no man to judge…

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Many people consider a bar to be a fun place. I do not… I remember too much. I remember the conversations of persons who thought they were really smart when they were drunk. They argued because each person thought he was smarter than the other ~ stupid conversations often lead to stupid arguments. I particularly hated to hear drunks argue about God and religion…It was profane in my ears ~ even then. I think about people drinking, dancing and laughing… I pause to remember the laughter… It was mindless, desperate laughter that I heard in bars…people laughing at ~ NOTHING ~ REALLY ~ no REAL joy ~ no REAL happiness ~ filling long, lonely spaces of time ~ WITH NOTHINGNESS ~ echoing with pain from bad choices. And they did not know it ~ SADLY ignorant of the joy that God wants to give us all. I think about the laughter when I read about the “crackling of thorns under a pot” (verse 6). I really don’t know what crackling of thorns sounds like, but I imagine that I would find it annoying ~ the same as I find an intoxicated person’s mouth and actions to be to me now.

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Continuing down the path of my memory, I remember my old friends. Most did nothing about their life styles. Some of my friends moved from alcohol to drugs. Many died in and of their addictions. I tried to tell friends and loved ones of my “vision” of my future and the Grace of God that saved me from myself. They did not listen ~would not listen. They laughed and they told jokes about me. I was hopeful they would have their own epiphany at some point in their life. I became a joke to my former friends. They would not listen, so I shook the dust off my feet and left them in my past. I had to because the Lord was bringing me along and they were trying to hold me back. I understood the Grace of God because He showed me grace one sad Christmas Eve. I did not understand why no one else in my old crowd could see.

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And, while reading the same passage, I think of churches. Church is the place where I took my sorrow. True sorrow is Godly sorrow. This is the sorrow that comes from sincere regret. You can tell if you have Godly sorrow by how you handle your regrets. Godly sorrow will lead to repentance and a changed life. Godly sorrow results in eternal salvation.

For godly sorrow produces repentance
leading to salvation, not to be
regretted;
but the sorrow of the world produces death.
2 Corinthians 7:10

And, while I read, I think of that Christmas Eve revelation and repentance and eternal salvation. I thank God once again…. I thank Him that He caused Godly sorrow to sprout in my heart on a Christmas Eve so many years ago.

The end of a thing is better than its beginning;
The patient in spirit is
better than the proud in spirit.
Ecclesiastes 7:8

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This is just one example of the beauty of God’s Word. I know you all have heard that one of the ways God speaks to us is through His Word. Even though the Bible contains the same words for each reader, God will use the same passages to speak truths into different people’s hearts. If you read this passage and you don’t see a connection with churches and bars, I will not fault you because that is not the message God intends for you. God has His own message for you and you will hear from Him just by opening your heart to Him and letting Him speak to you through God’s own Word. Likewise, I ask that if you do not receive the same message, you do not fault me because of my obedience to Godly instruction.

Do not hasten in your spirit to be angry,
For anger rests in the bosom of fools.
Do not say, “Why were the former days better than these?”
For you do not inquire wisely concerning this.
Ecclesiastes 7:9-10

Sadly, I am seeing too much condemnation for one another within the Body of Christ for what scripture means to one, but not another. If you don’t agree with the message received by one from our Lord, you have permission to move on quietly without judgment and condemnation because the message was not for you, but I have faith that it was for SOMEONE and probably for someone who is a CHILD in Christ. And should you add dissention and condemnation to this blog, you may injure a child growing in faith. And I am pretty sure that Jesus would weep….
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~PEACE~
Darlene Cirinna
6/5/09

SHAPED BY THE HARD TIMES ~ ECCLESIASTES 7A

SHAPED BY THE HARD TIMES

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When I was a teenager, my Mom told me that there were three things that I must protect my whole life long. Those things were my good name, my reputation and my credit. I only understood the reputation part, but that only because my Mother talked so much about “getting a reputation” ~ as my Mother put it… At that point in my young life and in my young mind, “getting a reputation” was the same as pre-marital sex. I didn’t want a “reputation”, nor did I think it was wise to protect it ~ if I was to get one… Well ~ so much for what I “thought” I understood…
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Now I am older ~ MUCH OLDER ~ and from the perspective of age, I can tell you that my Mother gave me valuable advice. I came to understand that when you “protect” your good name, you are protecting all of it… name, reputation and credit. I understood little about my upcoming “credit”, or how I would protect it. (Actually, back in the day, women weren’t allowed to have their own credit.) Neither did I understand how I was to go about “protecting” my good name…

A good name is to be chosen
Rather than great riches,
Loving favor
Rather than silver and gold.
Proverbs 22:1

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But, I was taught well and I CHOSE to protect my good name above all. This meant that in the good times and in the bad times, paying my bills came first. I had my parents as teachers and role models. It really doesn’t get much better than that.

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My parents were careful to pay all bills and to pay them on time. I watched my Father work hard to provide for us and I learned, by example, perseverance of a dependable employee. I watched my Mother stretch every dollar and I learned thrifty ways to manage a budget and a home. I knew that the time would come that I would have a job, a home and bills of my own. I understood the importance of being a steady, dependable worker. I understood budgeting and paying all of my bills “on time”. But the most important thing that I learned ~ the one most important tip I can think of to pass along to the younger folks ~ is this: Be responsible with your money and your credit! You will thank yourself later…

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And….I am so glad I paid attention to early instruction and the examples set by my parents because it was followed by the biggest quiz of all ~ LIFE~. What I didn’t know is that the “quiz of life” is full of trick questions, dips and curves, mountains and valleys. Kind of like a roller coaster ride!

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On the other hand, at the end of the ride, I will certainly be able to shout “Woo Hoo ~ that was some ride!!!”

A good name is better than
Precious ointment,
And the day of death than the
Day of one’s birth
Ecclesiastes 7:1

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Solomon knew the value of a good name. In Ecclesiastes 7:1, he called it better than precious ointment. Following that brief statement about a good name, he makes a strange statement about the day of death being better than the day of birth. My reaction in the natural was ~ “What???” “Huh???” I began to think of the births in my family ~ happy days all… I heard the story of the day of my birth ~ happy day ~ funny day because Mom (still drugged up) said she had puppies…LOL… Ahh…hemmm…but I digress. How can the day of death be better than the day of birth? Well, I suppose we think that way because we are still in the middle, or close to the end as in my case, of the quiz of life. We know from experience that the day of birth is a wonderfully, happy day and that the day a loved one died was sad to the max. I have long thought that God’s view of “death” is completely different than the way we view death. I do believe it is a move from the physical to the spiritual, but since I haven’t been there – yet – I cannot state it as fact. What I know for sure is that this life as I know it in this physical body will end one day and I HAVE FAITH that this little spark of life in my physical body –my spirit– will join the Lord in the place He has gone to prepare for us. But, that is not my point. My point is this… “life” can be quite a trial at times. Our journey takes us over mountains and through valleys.

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It can be trying enough that sometimes we take our eyes off of the goal and set them lower…yes…we all have done that lowering thing – even if you don’t want to admit it. There have been times we just want to give up. Yes…we look at that next mountain and decide to sit in the valley and rest for a while. Well, yeah…me too… But, what I learned is that I developed my strength in faith while climbing those mountains. I grew not the least little bit while resting in the valleys. In fact, if I rested too long, I grew weak and, a few times, even took my eyes off of the goal. So, after all the mountains and valleys, I think it will be a better day to reach that goal ~ that is IF I don’t sit down in a valley and stay there until I take my last breath.

Many times in life, things get really hard. I have a favorite passage in my Bible that I turn to in such times. When I was working the last couple of years before retirement, I was really tired…not just physically, but mentally from the extreme mental activity needed to do my very complicated job. One day, I took a piece of paper and wrote these words… “PRESS ON” and I taped that paper to the wall in my office where every time I lifted my eyes from my work, I would see that piece of paper on the wall. Many people who entered my office didn’t understand the sign ~ for those people, it was a witness tool. The Christians who entered my office understood very well. There were days when I took my eyes off my “sign” and put them on those guys named “frustration” and “aggravation”. In those times, a fellow (Christian) office worker often said just two little words to me ~ “Press on”. It was like our own secret code ~ like the Christian fish… When she said “press on”, I got back on track.


I love how Paul said it:

Not that I have already attained, or am already perfected; but I press
on, that I may lay hold of that for which Christ Jesus has also laid hold of me.


Brethren, I do not count myself to have apprehended; but one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead,
I press toward the goal for the prize of the
upward call of God in Christ Jesus.

Therefore, let us, as many as
are mature, have this mind; and if in anything you think otherwise, God will reveal even this to you.

Philippians 4:12-15

Well, as you know, I did reach that retirement goal and you know what? It was the best day of my career ~ much, MUCH better than that first day on my first job more than 42 years earlier. I was happy that first day, but I was ecstatic on the day I retired. There were ups and downs throughout my career. There were good times and there were hard times. How we handle the hard times are the things that shape us. I think life is like that…


And I believe I have not yet seen the best day of all… While waiting for the “best day”, I continue to “press on.” I am NOT sitting in that valley in my retirement…I have mountains to climb!

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(Note to friends: OK…so I sat in a valley for the past 3 weeks… Ecclesiastes, Chapter 7 looked like such a mountain to me. Chapter 7 is loaded with wisdom and I wanted to do it justice, but there is NO WAY to do justice to Chapter 7 all in one blog, or the blog would be so long that nobody would want to read it. So…I am breaking Chapter 7 up into smaller bites. Not sure yet how many bites, but it will be as many as the spirit leads…)

Darlene Cirinna

5/23/09

WHAT WILL YOUR APPETITE COST YOU? ~ ECCLESIASTES CHAPTER 6




At first glance, Ecclesiastes, Chapter 6, seems to repeat the same line of thought as in Chapter 5; however, if we look more closely, we see that in this chapter, Solomon speaks of the appetite.



In the first two verses, Solomon gives an example of what he calls a grievous evil. This is a man who has everything, but dies and someone else enjoys what the man worked for in life.


This reminds me of a parable that Jesus told about a rich fool... In the parable, Jesus speaks of a rich man who just gets richer... The rich man decides that he has plenty of the good things laid up, so he will take life easy - eat, drink and be merry. The Lord said to him, "You fool! This very night your life will be demanded from you. Then who will get what you prepared for yourself?" Jesus said that this is how it will be with anyone who stores up things for himself but is not rich towards God. (Luke 12:16-21)

In the second example given in verses 3-6, Solomon tells of another man who has a large family, lives a long time, yet he did not enjoy his prosperity, nor did anyone grieve his passing.

It looks to me like this man "had it all", but was a stranger to his own family. I think he worked all the time, provided well for his family, but failed to develop a loving relationship with them. His wife probably had other interests, having given up on him long before, and his children were probably completely spoiled from having every material desire satisfied by their hard-working father. Then, when this man died... Let's just say that nobody missed him much.

Again, Solomon says a stillborn child is better off than a life such as either of these examples. He goes on to say that even if a man lives 2000 years and fails to enjoy his prosperity, he has lived a life for nothing. It is well to remember that we will all go to the same place – the grave.

Having given the two examples of men who literally lived for nothing, Solomon begins to speak of the appetites of man. Certainly we can agree that it is appetites that drive us. We work primarily so that we can have food, shelter and clothing. Those are our basic physical needs. When we desire beyond our basic needs, our appetite enters the picture and, depending upon what we desire, our fates can be determined…

I remember a sermon at church many years ago. The message was delivered by our, at that time, Bishop Henderson. Bishop Henderson asked if we knew why the lost sheep got lost...referring to the parable of the lost sheep (Luke 15:4-5). Then, he proceeded to tell us. The sheep got lost because of appetite. That little lamb put his head down to satisfy his appetite. He took his eyes off the shepherd and put his eyes on what it would take to satisfy his appetite. And, while he was satisfying his appetite, he got lost… Isn’t that the way with us all? We have to be careful of our appetites. Does what we desire take our eyes off of God?



In looking at appetites, we determine that, for the most part, the satisfaction of our appetite is short-lived. We satisfy the appetite, then it returns when it wants more… It can be a vicious cycle if the appetite is for something addictive – such as alcohol or drugs. Seemingly harmless things can also be an addiction if the desire is for excess – such as food, shopping, money, acquisition of “stuff”, gambling, sex…the list goes on and on. The desire for recognition, fame and fortune is also a well trod path to destruction… We can conclude that satisfaction of an appetite, in such cases, is elusive and the rewards are temporary at best.

While we travel our path through life – satisfying our appetites – what are we neglecting or losing? Solomon concludes that it is better to be satisfied with what the eyes see rather than the ever roving appetite. The most important things in life are God and family. Be content with what you have and enjoy life…

We have another biblical expert on contentment…Paul who was formerly Saul. Paul wrote to Timothy about Godliness with contentment. (I Timothy 6:4-10) Paul makes the following points:

a. We came with nothing and we leave with nothing.
b. Be content with food and clothing – in meeting our needs – not our wants.
c. If you want to be rich, you fall into temptation and a trap.
d. Foolish and harmful desires plunge men into ruin and destruction.
e. The love of money is the root of all kinds of evil, causing some to wander from their faith and cause themselves much grief.

In a letter to Timothy, Paul charged Timothy to flee from the love of money and all that it can buy. Instead, pursue righteousness, Godliness, faith, love, endurance and gentleness. Command those who are rich to not be arrogant nor put their hope in wealth, but instead, put hope in God. Command your flock to be rich in good deeds, generous and willing to share. In this way, you lay up treasures for yourself that money cannot buy. (I Timothy 6:17-19)

Paul practiced this as well. We see in Philippians 4:11-13 that Paul considers it better to be content in every situation, whether in plenty or in want. He advises that you can do this through God who gives you strength.

We all have appetites… They have been with us from birth. At birth, our appetite is simply for nourishmen. As we grow, our appetites change. The question is – what are your appetites now? Are they temporal or ethereal? What will your appetite cost you? Will your appetites cost you happiness and contentment in this life? Will they cost you eternity with our Lord? Maybe it is time to evaluate your appetite…


Just something to think about…

Darlene Cirinna
Copyright 4/30/09

HUSH YOUR MOUTH & USE YOUR SOAP! ~ ECCLESIASTES CHAPTER 5

As I begin to read Ecclesiastes, Chapter 5, right off, my spirit is reminded of so much scripture and I think…how am I going to fit all this in one blog? So, I pray that the Lord will give me what HE wants me to write.

Verse 1, short as it is, is full of wisdom. I could write a four-point sermon on verse 1 - all by itself…yeah.. But, I will hit upon all four points in brief and expand on only one, as the Lord is leading me. The four points are:

1. Walk prudently when you go to the house of God – remember that your place of worship is God’s house. Behave with respect as if you are standing before the Lord Himself – because you are. Remember you are standing on holy ground…Exodus 3:5
2. Draw near to hear – remembering always that when you are in God’s house, you are there to hear God’s will and to learn so that when life presents the unexpected that you know how you are to behave. You “hear” from God on a personal level, taking what you “hear” into obedience.
3. Rather than to give the sacrifice of fools – God had much to say about our sacrifices. First, I want to relay a story from I Samuel, then a message from God, delivered by His prophet, Isaiah…

In Samuel I, Chapter 15, the Lord charged Samuel to anoint Saul as king and to send Saul into battle to punish Amalek for what he did to Israel. The Lord’s instructions were to destroy all men, women, children and livestock – sparing none. Apparently, Saul did not listen very well and this is what he heard: ‘Spare King Agag and let your people do as they determine is right…’ You think???

So, Saul attacked the Amalekites, intending to do God’s will as he has “reasoned” is God’s will. He spared King Agag and his men plundered the best of the livestock. Afterward, Saul went to Carmel to make a monument for himself. Hmmm….naughty boy worshiping himself?

When the Lord told Samuel what Saul had done, Samuel was grieved, so he went looking for Saul. When he caught up with him, Saul was well pleased with himself because he believed that he had done the bidding of God. Samuel confronted Saul about the livestock. First Saul lied, and then he blamed “the people” for taking the livestock, saying it was for sacrifice to the Lord.
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So Samuel said:
Has the Lord as great delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices,
As in obeying the voice of the Lord?
Behold, to obey is better than sacrifice,
And to heed than the fat of rams.
I Samuel 15:22

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And, just so, did God’s favor for Saul come to a sad end – over because of disobedience. Sacrifices do not please the Lord. It is your obedience that pleases the Lord. And partial obedience is the same as disobedience. You can’t do things according to the joint will of you and the Lord – nope. You cannot please the Lord if you partly obey Him and the rest is your own will.


In Isaiah, Chapter 1, Isaiah relays God’s call to repentance. It is too lengthy to write here, so I hope you will read the whole chapter. In Isaiah 1, God recounts the rebellion of His people as a sinful nation, backslidden, brood of evildoers and corrupt. A people who have forsaken the Lord. God says the whole head is sick. He could have been saying the same in the 21st century – probably IS saying the same thing! But, as interesting as that is, I want to move into what the Lord has to say about sacrifices.

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“To what purpose is the multitude of your
sacrifices to Me?” Says the Lord.
“I have had enough of burnt offerings of
rams and the fat of fed cattle.
I do not delight in the blood of bulls, or of lambs or goats.
When you come to appear before Me, who has required this from your hand, to trample My courts?
Bring no more futile sacrifices;
Incense is an abomination to Me.
The New Moons, the Sabbaths, and the calling of assemblies – I cannot endure iniquity
and the sacred meeting.
Your New Moons and your appointed feasts
My soul hates;
They are a trouble to Me, I am weary of bearing them.
When you spread out your hands,
I will hide My eyes from you;
Even though you make many prayers, I will not hear.
Your hands are full of blood.”
Isaiah 1:11-15

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And, there I will leave it – for the Holy Spirit to speak to you personally while I hope that you read the rest of Isaiah, Chapter 1.


4. For they do not know that they do evil – quite simply stated is because they did not first seek the Will of God.

Next, Solomon speaks of the words we speak. Here again, my spirit is flooded with much scripture about the mouth… You see, I had much to learn about the mouth and what I learned is another whole blog. So, pardon me if I, once again, share what the Lord is giving me to share. Maybe later on I will write about the mouth….


Solomon speaks of vows. His language is in the form of a warning. Solomon tells us to not be hasty when making a vow before the Lord (as all vows are) and to let our words be few..he says a fool’s voice is known by his many words… He urges that IF you make a vow to God, that you do not delay to pay it because God has no pleasure in fools. He goes on to say that it is better to not vow than to vow and not pay.

While you think about that, I will relay a little story found in Judges 11. The people of Ammon made war against Israel. Jephthah, commander of Gilead, made a vow to the Lord…

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And Jephthah made a vow to the Lord, and said,
“If You will indeed deliver the
People of Ammon into my hands, then it will be that whatever comes out of the doors of my
House to meet me, when I return in peace
from the people of Ammon,
Shall surely be the Lord’s,
and I will offer it up as a burnt offering.”
Judges 11:30-31

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If you know this story, you know that Jephthah was successful in the defeat of the Ammonites. When he returned to his house at Mizpah, his daughter, HIS ONLY CHILD, came out to meet him “with timbrels and dancing”….happy to meet her beloved father who was returning from battle. This story did not have a happy ending, but if you want to read it, the end of the story is found in Judges 11:35-39. How foolish was Jephthah’s vow? And, remember… God isn’t even pleased by burned offerings! All God wants from us is obedience… If God had told Jephthah that He required Jephthah’s daughter, it would be one thing, but God did not… Jephthah made a very unnecessary vow.

I remember back in the ‘60’s, a story I read about a woman who begged God to let her son live and if God would let him live, then she (the mother) vowed to eat frogs for the rest of her life. I thought about that vow a lot over the years. In the news article, they reported that the boy lived and the mother was living on a diet of frogs. I have wondered many times over the last 45 years, or so, how long did that woman keep her vow to God and eat nothing but frogs??? As a teenager, I saw the vow for what it was….foolish. But, what happened? Curiosity sent me to Google, but I couldn’t find any reference to a mother eating a frog diet. (Hey…it was worth a try…I love to Google…) Whether she continued with her diet of frogs or not is not important here. What is important is that we must be careful in what we vow to God or to each other, for that matter. Consider carefully before vowing anything and do not vow often….

It also reminds me of how I was raised. In my mind, a vow and a promise are the same. My parents did not tolerate any nonsense when it came to promises. My sisters and I were taught the importance of a promise. We were taught that we should be careful of what we promise and make no promises without first considering if we could, or would, or wanted to do what we were about to promise. With that said, I can assure you that if you receive a promise from one of my sisters or me, we will fulfill that promise as quickly as possible and as promised, even if we no longer want to do as we promised. Or, as we say in my family…You must keep a promise - even if it hurts…

Solomon cautions us to not allow our mouth to cause our flesh to sin. If we make a vow or a promise that we do not keep, it would have been better for all if the vow had not been made to start with. To break a vow is to cause our flesh to sin. How much better it is when vows are not made unnecessarily or in haste?




Beginning in verse 8, Solomon abruptly changes his topic to labor and money. First he says we should not be surprised when we see government oppressing the poor, and denying them justice and their rights. Solomon goes on to say that every government official is protected by higher officials. He concludes this short portion of scripture by saying that the profit of the land is for all and that even the king depends upon the harvest. Solomon follows up with his conclusions about money:

1. If you love money, you will never be satisfied.
2. The richer you are, the more money you will need.
3. A working man sleeps a sweet sleep.
4. Worries about money keeps the rich man from sleeping well.
5. It is a terrible thing to save money so that you can leave an inheritance to your children, then to lose it all through misfortune.
6. You enter the world with nothing, labor your whole life and then leave the world the same way you entered – with nothing.
7. Whatever you gained while in life is left behind when you die. You can’t take it with you!
8. We get to live our lives in darkness, grief, sickness and anger.
9. What profit has he who has labored for the wind?


Once again, Solomon concludes that it is better to eat and drink and enjoy what he has worked for; this is man’s fate. If God has given a man wealth and property, and allows man to enjoy them, he should be thankful and enjoy what he has worked for because it is a gift from God.




It is with no little sadness that I dig up a memory to share with you. When I was a child, there was something said often that some would not understand, but that I understood well. It was this…”Don’t use that. I am saving it for good.” This meant that something was being saved to use on a future day for some special event – that imaginary, bright, happy day in the future that would be worthy for use of the item being saved. It was my Mom who always said that – all through her life. I encouraged her to use her possessions – to enjoy them. She did not. Mom died last November, leaving personal property in three states. It was my sad task to sort and make disposition of the Florida property. Even sadder was the discovery of boxes packed up for a better day – once new items grown old and dusty, rusty, yellowed or spotted with age – still in original packaging – never used.




I found a little Christmas soap that was given to Mom by her small great granddaughter a few years ago. I remember also receiving my own little Christmas soap. The soap had a delightful fragrance and every time I washed my hands with that soap, I smelled it, I lingered, enjoying every moment, and I smiled while thinking about my little niece and her wonderful gift of love. I ENJOYED that little soap and when it was gone, I continued to enjoy the memory. I knew Mom was “saving” her soap, so I encouraged Mom to use her soap and enjoy it as I was doing. I told her that the soap would lose its fragrance after a while…to use it and enjoy it. Sadly…she never enjoyed that little Christmas soap. The soap was spotted with age and smelled badly…And I was extremely sad as I gently laid the little gift of love in the trash can.

LIFE IS NOT FAIR...YOU NEED STRONG ROPE! ~ ECCLESIASTES CHAPTER 4

LIFE IS NOT FAIR…YOU NEED STRONG ROPE!
ECCLESIASTES CHAPTER 4

“That’s not fair…” When I hear someone say this, I immediately think about a man that I worked with many years ago. He was the head of our organization – a wise and accomplished man. He had an answer each time someone said this. He always said… “Life is not fair. The only fair I know about is the one that comes once a year - out on West 50.”



Heh… Did you ever get tired of hearing one liners? Oh yeah…I cringed every time someone said something was not fair in this man’s presence, because I knew what his next words would be. It got really old!! But, it is so true… There is nothing that is “fair”.


When tragedy strikes, we begin to question why God would allow such a thing to happen. Many non-believers have said these words… “If your God is such a loving God, then why did He allow such and such to happen?” Well…unfortunately, you will not find the answer here because I cannot answer that question, nor does anyone else know the answer. Only God knows. I prefer to think that God knows what He is doing…but that is just me… I know that nothing is fair about life. But, I do know that I can adjust my attitude about how I handle the things in life that I would just rather had not happened… You know?


“Fairness” has always been a really big issue in my life. I grew up under the “Fairness Doctrine”. Oh yeah…my Mom taught us that everything had to be fair. I have two sisters, the same as Mom did. As the middle child, Mom often felt neglected by her own mother, so she decided that no child of hers would ever feel left out. So, the last piece of cake would get carefully cut into precise thirds. If we were given candy ~ jelly beans for instance ~ we waited patiently while 3 little piles were carefully counted to be equal. The number of gifts received at Christmas would be equal for each of the three of us. She even made sure that the same amount of money was allotted to be spent on each of us. We understood that at times, lots must be cast to make sure no favor was shown for one child over another. We grew up with all of the “lot” type activities ~ you know the ones of which I speak… We drew straws, we did the paper/rock/scissors and eenie, meenie, miney, mo things… and dice…

haha… gotcha! NO, we did not throw dice…but we understood the concept. Heh…yeah… At a very early age, we understood words like fair and equal.

Sadly, there was a reason why my Grandmother may have kept my Mother at an arm’s length – emotionally at a minimum. While Grandma was pregnant with my Mother, her 3 year old son, David, became ill and died. He died in 1927, but I guarantee you that every person in my family and in my generation and some in the next, know who David was because he was kept “alive” by Gram – never allowing him to be forgotten. When David died, my Aunt Bev was an infant, already welcomed and already loved. My aunt was also very ill at the time David died. My Grandmother went from two children to one and a fear that the other might die as well. It must have been a horrible time in Grandma’s life. As time moved on, Grandma did not get over the loss of her only son. She made no secret of the fact that she would, willingly, have traded the life of my Mom for the life of David. She said so… and my Mom overheard her say it. My Mom was born to a Mother who was so lost in her grief that she really didn’t want my Mom. My Mom’s life as a child was much like a small shadow, living in the shadow of a ghost brother she never knew. Later, a third daughter was born, who lived the life typical of a youngest child and spoiled beyond belief. My Mother’s perception of her world was that both older and younger sister were loved, but she was not. Whether that was true or not does not matter because our perceptions become our realities and our realities become our truths. And from those perceptions are born our outlook on life and subsequent actions and beliefs. Mom tried all the usual tactics of a child who did not feel loved. She tried to be really good all the time. She did not do things to grieve her parents. She simply existed – desperately trying to please her Mother. She did have the complete love of a good Father, but there was always that void in her life, that perception that one was favored over another and she was not the one favored. This feeling persisted as my Mother grew. She said that Gram would often say… “If David were here, he would be _______ (playing football, going to the prom, graduating from high school…fill in the blank…). For my Mother, it was like growing up with a ghost. Mom said that the last time Gram used that phrase was at the time David would have graduated high school. For the last time, Gram said “If David were here, he would be going to war.” Mom said with that sad realization that David may have only lived to die in war, Grandma let David go. It was all vanity and the answer was blowing in the wind.

In the first 3 verses of Chapter 4, Solomon considers the life of the oppressed, comparing praise for the dead to the one who has never existed. He concludes that it is better to have never existed to start with. As a child, my Mother felt oppressed. She lived with praise for the dead. Mom thought it would have been better if she had never been born…she said so. However…she was here and she lived a life that was a balancing act. Careful to never offend her Mother who she never believed wanted her. The “balancing act” continued into her adult life. She was always careful to be the good daughter, the good wife and the good Mother. It was out of this careful balancing act that was born her “fairness doctrine”. I also have 2 sisters. My Mother was determined that my middle sister would NEVER feel like the unwanted, neglected middle child. In my Mother’s perception, the middle child gets lost in the family because that is what happened to her. Mom was careful that everything was FAIR AND EQUAL between my sisters and me. My “middle sister” never got lost in our family. Mom made sure that my middle sister never felt the way she herself felt while growing up. It is noble that my Mom felt this way and translated her feelings into actions. Yes…that was a good thing. It gave my sisters and me a good foundation for understanding fairness, but on the other hand, were our expectations realistic? REALLY??? Anybody who has spent much time on this earth knows that there is nothing fair about life! Upon entering the adult world, I was let down considerably by how unfair it is out there in the world… I didn’t know just exactly how unfair the world was because I grew up under the “fairness doctrine”! I can tell you that an upbringing like I had was good in many ways, but leaves one unprepared for the inequity and the unjust aspects of life we learn when we become adults and step out into the world. There is no “fair”…under the sun. And, I also conclude that it is all vanity and grasping for the wind.

More on Labor: Solomon again considers labor as vanity. He considers that the fool may be better off than the one who has his hands full of toil and grasping for the wind. (Vs 5 & 6) He sees that even one alone, without companion or son or brother, labors towards riches, never satisfied and never asking “For whom do I toil…? (Vs 8) This type of person works hard, amasses a fortune, but for what? He has no one with which to share, or even a son to inherit because he made his whole life about getting wealthy, perhaps leaving no time for a family. He succeeds by the worldly standards, but not without personal cost because he has no family, he has no love… He has no one to share life with him. His life is empty regardless of his wealth. Sad for me to think of such a man… Ebenezer Scrooge comes to mind… Solomon concludes that it is “vanity and a grave misfortune”.

He continues to reason that two are better than one because that is a reward for labor…for if one falls, the other can lift up, but woe on the man who is alone because who will lift him up when he falls? Also, as one alone has no extra warmth and if two can warm each other, how much better to be three?

Though one may be
Overpowered by another,
Two can withstand him.
And a threefold cord is not quickly broken.
Ecclesiastes 4:12
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Solomon concludes that being alone is not a good thing, two is better, but a threefold cord is not quickly broken…. When the enemy comes against us, the person with no one may be overpowered, whereas, two or more have the strength to withstand. And though two have strength, if you add a third, additional strength is added. I have always thought that this scripture pertains to God being the third person who adds strength enough to bind the enemy. We have victory when God is our third cord… And if our work comes between us and God, family or friends… it is foolishness.

Solomon also considers that it is better to be a poor and wise young man than a rich and foolish old king who the Lord no longer chastises. Even the man who has a rich and successful life will be replaced one day by a younger man. So, why lose your life, love and companionship while trying to make a name for yourself and while striving to become rich? It’s all vanity and really for nothing…

Don’t take your job so seriously because your job does not define you, nor will it keep you warm when all else has been lost while you toil for recognition and fortune… Remember…LIFE IS NOT FAIR! When you reach the goal post and look around, will anybody be there? Or have you lived a life in vain? God did not intend for man to be alone, living in a paradise with all comforts, or He would not have created Eve.
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And the Lord God said,
“It is not good that man should be alone;
I will make him a helper comparable to him.”Genesis 2:18

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Wrapping up Chapter 4, we find Solomon’s opinion on youth and old age. Contrary to the general opinion that wisdom lies with the elderly, Solomon points out that we may have forgotten the lessons of our youth to become foolish. He opines that it is better to be poor and wise in one’s youth, than to be king and too foolish to take advice in his old age. He continues this line of thought with the fact that there will always be a young man to take the place of the king. And he adds that when the old king is gone, no one will be grateful for what he has done anyway, so it is all useless…like chasing the wind…

This made me think back and recall some things about my own life. I worked in human resources in state government for 36 years before retiring. Many years ago, when I first started in my career, the personnel manager watched me work like there was no tomorrow. I worked all day, and then I took work home at night. I preferred to think I was dedicated and hard working, but from the perspective of age, I know that I was simply an ambitious young lady who wanted a good career, but lacked the wisdom to prioritize and organize. I had a lot to learn, so work flow was often interrupted while I went seeking through state rules and regulations for answers that later became ready knowledge. The manager, seeing the work habits I was developing, decided it was time to share some wisdom with me. This from the perspective of his age, no doubt… He told me that there are two things that I need to know… But, first, he wanted me to visualize myself putting my fist into a bucket of water, then pull it out. He asked me how long the hole stays there in the bucket of water. Once I understood that there would be no hole, he went on with the two things I needed to understand. The first thing is that if I am killed on the highway on my way home after work, someone would be sitting in my chair, doing my job, within a week or so. The second thing…when you are gone, everything is your fault because you will be blamed for everything found to be wrong after you leave. I never forgot the bucket of water analogy, nor did I forget that I was not the only person who could do my job.

I’m not saying you should not give your best to a job. I’m just saying that you should not over estimate your own importance. I would add a postscript to his advice…from the perspective of age…mine this time…when once you were the young whippersnapper, remember that when you are old, there will be another young whippersnapper to take your place. And the new whippersnapper will do as good a job as you did and maybe better. It is vanity to think otherwise.

Once again…I would like to remind you to stop, enjoy your life and smell the flowers along life’s way…


And, be the best friend you can be because you never know when you might be the one to make a difference in someone else’s life.

This concludes Chapter 4. Thank you for studying along with me as I share what Ecclesiastes means to me and how I translate it into real meaning for my life. I hope you also see how this book relates to your life as well. Please continue with me in Chapter 5. It will be up soon.